Failing to Succeed

Staring out the window at the beautiful day,
wondering why I feel so gray.
Thinking of failure and success,
wondering why my life is a mess.
Seeing everyone as better than me,
wondering if this is how it's supposed to be.
I do my best to be in the right,
while other's make it without a fight.
Watching others succeed with little cost,
feeling as though, in this world, I'm lost.
I feel as though I'll never be as good,
and wondering if I, at all, ever could.
I truly feel good for those who make it,
but this feeling, I just can't shake it.
I've tried to help those around me succeed,
and so they have done, for the most part, indeed.
Though, now that they are all on top
I'm left at the bottom where I stop.
I look above and see them all,
ever succeeding, never to fall.
I've been generous, I've been good,
I've done the best I could.
So, where's my due, where's my prize,
where's my girl with the prettiest eyes.
Never did I think when being so bold,
that in the end I'd be left in the cold,
to shiver and shake,
to never get a break,
to be the one
to come undone,
to fly the kite,
but not quite right,
to help those in need,
but be left in heed.
I've done all I can, I can do no more.
It has closed, my one and only door.
With no more to be opened I'm left in the dark.
No identifiable things to make a spark.
So, what do I do in my situation as such,
when I don't have that sacred touch?
When those around me succeed and I only fail,
am I doomed to mop the halls with a bucket or pail?
Am I doomed to die alone,
with cough and brittle bone?
Where is my ladder to escape this hell?
Will no one be able to tell?
Of course not, I'm all alone,
in a room with no audible tone.
My senses dulled, my life as well.
I'm left to roam this eternal hell.