Fading Into Dust

Fading into dust
Falling on broken trust
Wishing things could be easier

I don't know
Where I could go
To escape from this hell

I've finally found
A place without sound
And where only loneliness thrives

I must overcome
The time has come
To drift into the darkness

Down the hall
Shadows on the wall
Mock me in my sleep

Bear witness to
What time will do
When you're left all alone

People leave you
Some will mistreat too
But that's part of life

At day's end
No one to defend
You'll have to defend yourself

The shadows crawl
Down the brick wall
To break your spirit apart

Then you'll know
On hand and toe
That your time has come

Close your eyes
Wait for your demise
And take one last breath

I Wish I Could

NOTE: A song in the works...

I've looked at where I've gone
I've seen where I have been
And all I can say for myself
Is that I don't know what I did

I've played my life by ear
I've done what I've been told
I've dealt with things beyond me
And I've had enough

I wish that I could be me
I wish that I could find... What I want

I wish that I could tell you what I feel
I wish that I could make the hurting end

But I can't
I'm not that strong
My will is weak
I'm always wrong

What is it that I need to learn

I wish that I could be me
I wish that I could find... What I want

I wish that I could tell you what I feel
I wish that I could make the hurting end

But I can't

I've done all that I can
To stay out of the way
But when my time comes
Is that the way... I'd want it to be

I've taken my life
And thrown it all away
Before I had the chance
To make it... Today

I wish that I could be me
I wish that I could find... What I want

I wish that I could tell you what I feel
I wish that I could make the hurting end

But I can't
I'm not that strong
My will is weak
I'm always wrong

What is it that I need to learn

I wish that I could be me
I wish that I could find... What I want

I wish that I could tell you what I feel
I wish that I could make the hurting end

But I can't

Life Like a Clock

My life's like a clock.
The gears perfectly shaped
to mesh together with little flaws.
But the main flaw is seen so simply.
The repetitive nature of it all.
Seeing my life's experiences
coming back to meet me again.
The same things happening over and over.
I can almost hear the tick and the tock
as my heart beats and pumps.
The lazy movement of the pendulum as it swings
just as my mind swings from thought to action.
But the action and thought are the same as before.
Oh, how I wish I could move the gears,
slide them out of place,
to spin independently,
to break the sequential pendulum,
to life a new and interesting life,
one like water, that flows,
but whose movement is never quite exact.
That is what I wish,
but my luck is never so.
Doomed to live the same,
never to be who I want to be.

Failing to Succeed

Staring out the window at the beautiful day,
wondering why I feel so gray.
Thinking of failure and success,
wondering why my life is a mess.
Seeing everyone as better than me,
wondering if this is how it's supposed to be.
I do my best to be in the right,
while other's make it without a fight.
Watching others succeed with little cost,
feeling as though, in this world, I'm lost.
I feel as though I'll never be as good,
and wondering if I, at all, ever could.
I truly feel good for those who make it,
but this feeling, I just can't shake it.
I've tried to help those around me succeed,
and so they have done, for the most part, indeed.
Though, now that they are all on top
I'm left at the bottom where I stop.
I look above and see them all,
ever succeeding, never to fall.
I've been generous, I've been good,
I've done the best I could.
So, where's my due, where's my prize,
where's my girl with the prettiest eyes.
Never did I think when being so bold,
that in the end I'd be left in the cold,
to shiver and shake,
to never get a break,
to be the one
to come undone,
to fly the kite,
but not quite right,
to help those in need,
but be left in heed.
I've done all I can, I can do no more.
It has closed, my one and only door.
With no more to be opened I'm left in the dark.
No identifiable things to make a spark.
So, what do I do in my situation as such,
when I don't have that sacred touch?
When those around me succeed and I only fail,
am I doomed to mop the halls with a bucket or pail?
Am I doomed to die alone,
with cough and brittle bone?
Where is my ladder to escape this hell?
Will no one be able to tell?
Of course not, I'm all alone,
in a room with no audible tone.
My senses dulled, my life as well.
I'm left to roam this eternal hell.